Being sorry, is this a Canadian thing?!  It seems to be, everyone jokes about it.  I’m sorry, not sorry.  I’m sorry should be said genuinely, and you should feel apoligetic in certain circumstances.  Here is my spin on this…

It was two years after my split from my first husband, and I was at work, and working on something with my manger before the facility opened up in my new town.  She turned to me one day and asked my why I said “Sorry so much”.  I hadn’t even realized that I was even doing this.

I got thinking why was I apoligizing so much, well I had been in a toxic relationship. I realized that I felt I could not do right for anyone, I was people pleasing, and therefore apoligizing probably even for my own breath, well maybe not that extreme, but I sure didn’t like to speak up.

Once I was asked about my apoligies, I made an effort to work on not saying this so much. What I didn’t realize though, was why was I doing it, and what how it effected me.

Fast forward a few years, and it was once again pointed out to me, I was told everytime I said I was sorry I was giving power over to that other person.  Well shit, that hit me.  Was I seriously giving a part of my power over to that other person.

Huh?!  That right there was a good head scratcher, and I love those kind of ponders that can help me better myself.

Well, like any person working on themselves, and at this point, I was on the path of healing myself.  How was it giving power over to the other person.  

Sorry was being genuine, but was it really if you did it more then once?!  Was it really if you were actually sick and couldnt make it into work?!  Was it really if I couldn’t help out because I needed a night for my own self-care?!

Are you getting where I am going with this?  That one statement was like a cast iron frying pan hitting me, and making me understand, the only person I needed to be sorry to was myself. Of course, I am sorry if I unintentionally hurt someone, but one sorry is all that should take, and a good chat.  I am also sincerely sorry if someone loosing something, but this feeling is of sympathy and perhaps empathy is mixed in as well.

I have made such headway on this, watching my texts, deleting any sorrys when they were not necessary.  I have found that the person doesn’t really care, nor do they notice, allowing us to keep the energy exchange an even playing field.

There are times I can not make it for a meeting, or maybe I am unable to give my time freely as I used to help out.  If you look around, ou are not the only one, because boundaries have been put into place.  People understand their limitations, and this is where we should all strive to be, even if it takes longer then others.

This was not easy at first, but I make it intentional, that I keep it to geniunine ‘I’m sorry’, and keep my energy + power in my ball court, and give love when the situation calls to be sincere.

These are my thoughts on this topic, and not to be professional advice.

%d bloggers like this: