Well, the story goes, I have a son who can drive me up the wall, and is also one of the most amazing human beings you will meet! When he was little, he used to give you so many hugs and kisses, and tell you how much he loved you.
“…not everyone is meant to follow that little rule of staying in your own bubble…”
As he got older, his energetic little self could be too much for other people to handle. That boy had charisma, charm and still does… but he got into your space, and society requires everyone to have a bubble. I like my bubble, so I get it, but not everyone is meant to follow that little rule of staying in your own bubble, and not going into someone else’s.
When he was in grade 3, I was told by a teacher what an amazing boy he was, but he tended to get into other people’s space with his arms flailing around. I’ll be honest, I had no clue what to do, I never got into other people’s bubbles when I was little or big, let alone tell someone off. I was the polar opposite of him.
Well, let me tell you naming him, Aidan, has sure been fitting. Aidan means fiery, and that boy has plenty of that fiery energy. He is diagnosed as having ADHD, after grade 3, I requested they look into it for me. Well, it didn’t take much, not like his sister.
He was given medication, and being a parent with a child with ADHD, not knowing much about it, nor knowing what it feels like to be him. The medication, made me be very hesitant about giving it to him.
The medication and the unknown, combined with the differing points of view, as a parent it made me hesitate.
The medication I was told that the side effects could be are: he would lose weight, it could stunt his growth, he may not get sleep(this kid was always a great sleeper, because he was always moving, he literally dropped dead at night). We would also have to bring him in to have his blood pressure checked regularily.
Well, I gave him the medication, and he was able to calm and focus his mind and body. I did my research, and had him take a certain Omega, had him do brain puzzles, I put him in football & karate… we were going to do this, and I wanted to be able to do it one day without the medication. Being a mom, and hearing about the side effects, who was right, who was wrong, who can you trust?
During school, and well let’s face it, home life, he was… wait one second, can be very argumentative. When I mean argumentative, I heard about it in every teacher conference, and report card, even after I warned them. He has gotten better this year I have noticed, he will listen to you at least, but there is a blood vessel that pops on the right side of his head.
Let’s fast forward to this week, and my thoughts on ADHD and medication. I believe he needs it. He does not need a high dosage, just enough to help him focus, to allow him to manage his time, to make decisions without being so rash, to not procrastinate.
Procrasination + Covid + Teen + ADHD = A Mom on the Verge of Nagging
This school year, he decided not to take it, and being that he is now 15 years old, I thought I would let him give it a shot. Well, I am that mom who nags, why you might wonder(or, you might not have to) it would be because I get emails from his teachers. They are all the same, he is a great kid, he knows his stuff really well, but he is not giving us his work. Ugh… and having it during COVID, when in high school they are doing quad semesters, well it is a recipe for a “nagging mother” disaster, and a few f-bombs to be dropped.
Just so every teen knows, nagging is not at the top of every mom’s list of thing’s to do, and to be honest I had given that trophy to my mom, I don’t need her dusting it off to hand it to me.
I have thought about letting him flunk, because let’s face it, it is a good lesson to learn. I couldn’t though, knowing he has ADHD, I have to help him with his time management, and we did ok, I did a lot of harping, chewing at him, checking in on his online classrooms, but with one week to go I had a chat with him and requested he go back on his medication.
I had to have him hear me out, not everyone gets a chance like him, to have support for his “superpower”, and also be given a tool to help him achieve things in his daily life, whether they are big or small.
As one doctor, who had talked to my one daughter, who is diagnosed with ADD and anxiety. It is better to have the knowledge and tools, so that you may succeed, and that you do not have to be one of those people in a line up at Tim Hortons everyone morning, because that is how they have learned to cope with their ADHD.
Take what you think is negative, and turn into a positve, in this case, a tool for life.
With only a week and a half left of school, he begrudgingly took his pill. First day, he caught up in everything he had left to pile up, and was able to finish the assignments that day. I wanted to smack my face, why didn’t he do this before, and there would be no nagging. I do know one reason why, he knew, as a mom, I worried what those pills could do. There was a lot of different information out there, and not everyone is consistent about it.
I know that he wishes he can be off his medication, but my only wish for him is to be able to have tools in life to learn and live life with. I know that he will be better off with it, to focus and manage his time better. If he is able to find a better way, I am here always, to support him, but I want him to know, we have to do what is best for our own self.
To my son, I will always love you, and never wish your spirit to be squashed by someone who cannot match who you were meant to be. Love mom!